


A Tale of the Heart

by aphoenixinwriting



Category: Testament of Youth (2015)
Genre: Edwardian Period, M/M, WWI romances, homosexuality in the 1910s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 16:21:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5170430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphoenixinwriting/pseuds/aphoenixinwriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After watching "Testament of Youth" I did some research and learned that Edward was rumored to have been homosexual, so I rewrote a scene from the movie from his POV. It's when Vera tells him she found the letter he received from Geoffrey before he died and Edward's reaction to it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Tale of the Heart

Edward's heart caught in his throat when Vera held up the letter. He had no words, but the two siblings had always been close perhaps she could see his predicament. _Don't panic._ His heart was beating so hard he could hear it.

"I didn't read it," said Vera.

He breathed. His heart slowed down. His hands shook as she handed him the letter, the very last one from Geoffrey. Edward's heart beat a little faster and his knees which were already weak felt non-existent.

_I loved him. I only wish I could tell her._ Geoffrey had taken a bullet to the lungs. It was a while ago. Edward cried for six days straight when he found out. He had kept the letter to remember him by.

"I miss him," Edward choked out to Vera before bursting into tears.

It was a few days before Edward was up and about and nearly caught by Vera gently caressing the head of a handsome soldier that he knew. The soldier, before he was injured, used to make Edward smile like a schoolboy. He was tall and handsome with a head full of thick black curls. When the handsome soldier woke up Edward removed his hands and sat there like nothing happened.

"Geoffrey was handsome too," Vera said casually. Edward had been sliding the letter back and forth between his fingers. She rubbed her brother's back. He felt a swooping sensation in his stomach at the mention of Geoffrey. His fingers twitched and tingled with the desire to touch him. "Sometimes human nature pulls in a direction we didn't expect," she began.

For a moment, he considered telling her. He always suspected she knew but loved him anyway.

"He was my friend."

_No. He was so much more._ He didn't even have a picture of him only a memory. But it was enough. He was not likely to forget about Geoffrey anytime soon. He will always have the memories, even if that's all they are.

Edward slipped into a memory.

_Furtive glances across the lines. It was a science of sorts, a mere guessing game that one had to be good at or risk death. No one wanted to be wrong. Edward thought he caught Geoffrey staring at him as much as he stared at the young man who wanted desperately to be a priest._

At first he wasn't sure. No one dared speak of it, the ancient practice of the Greeks, the love that shall not speak its name. It was forbidden.

Edward longed for it. He always craved the touch of a man. He had always known this little part of him existed, and in the beginning he had tried to fight it, and convinced himself it wasn't the way of it, but eventually gave in to accepting it of him. It terrified him, and there was absolutely no one he could tell or turn to for advice.

He had kissed a few boys in his school, in secluded corridors after hours, in the grassy cricket pitch near campus, in empty classrooms. But when Geoffrey stared at him with knowing eyes and an inviting smile Edward felt like a fifteen year old boy again.

_Simple touches in the dark. The memory of the first time Geoffrey grabbed him in the trenches and pulled him into a quiet nook just to pull the corner of his shirt up to lightly touch his abdomen for three minutes._

Three minutes that had Edward day dreaming when he was supposed to be on watch. He felt the ghost of Geoffrey's fingers on his skin, and continued getting goose pimples, and never attempted to trap the butterflies that were fluttering wildly in his chest for a week. He touched that place on his abdomen and felt a shiver down his spine.

_First kisses in the sand while on leave. Geoffrey had gone home with Edward and while Vera was entertaining Rolland, Edward and Geoffrey found a way to ditch Victor so they could have a few private moments alone._

_A patch of sand, a bird as a witness, and Geoffrey's full, wet lips pressed against Edward's. Edward who's heart chose that moment to beat out of control, who smiled into the kiss, who felt the rush of first love swirling inside of him, who didn't know where to put his hands._

Edward had longed to scream at Vera a number of times just how smitten he was with Geoffrey, and to laugh with her, and share his wonderful news. She could openly love Rolland. Why was loving Geoffrey any different?

_Succumbing to passion in the springtime; Edward was fifteen when he put a part of a man in his mouth for the first time. At nineteen, trying it with Geoffrey was bliss. Geoffrey was not as experienced, and a little reticent, but over time he grew to enjoy the favor that Edward bestowed._

Edward watched Vera scan his face. She was always fussing over him. She cleaned his wounds, his clothes, peppered his face with affectionate kisses, and stared at him, a lot. Edward clung to his letter when it wasn't in his left pocket above his heart.

"I missed you," Vera told Edward as they lay together on the small cot. His arms were around her, and her head was on his shoulder. "I miss Rolland."

"I miss Geoffrey."

"When the war is over our hearts will have holes in the shapes of the ones we loved and lost," Vera said. It was times when she was cryptic like this that made Edward believe she knew. Sometimes in their letter she said things that told him she knew. She may have known, but she never asked.

_Jealousy on patrol. Edward singed with jealousy when he saw a ginger from Leeds with his hands on the small part of Geoffrey's back. He had picked up a rock with the intention of flinging it at the ginger's head like a child throwing a tantrum, but he stopped himself. His heart couldn't handle it._

_That was the night Geoffrey claimed him under the stars by the lake. Geoffrey had seen Edward's despair and made it up to him. That was a first for both of them. It was a few heated kisses, some on top of the clothes grinding, and a blanket to lie on; before the world and the war became a blur and it was two bodies in the cold writhing against each other in passion._

_It all had to be sneaky. They were almost caught returning to the bunker holding hands like two intendeds who were caught sneaking away from their chaperone. Edward snuck a kiss before the parted before bed._

"I want to go home," Edward said as he entwined his fingers with his sister's.

"Me too, and I want to take you with me," said Vera.

The word came the next day that Edward would be shipping out now that he was well again, and the word came from the handsome soldier Vera caught him ogling. It was a tearful farewell with a few promises about returning to each other and signing up for classes when the war was over.

Promises that were never kept; when faced with a court marital after the war and risk of embarrassing his family, Edward made a choice. He had written that handsome soldier a letter asking him to meet somewhere for a little dalliance, he hadn't know the letter would be read by the military and censored. So he chose to join Geoffrey in the next world.

_"What took you so long, my love?" Geoffrey asked as he extended his hand._

_"I didn't want to leave my sister," Edward said and he pressed himself against Geoffrey. He felt at home. This was where he was meant to be._

_"I waited for you. Come, let's go home now."_

 


End file.
